THE MORAL DILEMMA OF WELLNESS
Is Prioritizing Your Health Selfish or Necessary?
In a society that values productivity and service to others, many individuals struggle with the idea that putting their own health and wellness first is somehow selfish. This moral tension can lead to neglecting personal needs in favor of external demands.
The Conflict Between Self-Care and Selflessness
Have you ever felt guilty for saying no to someone because you needed time for yourself? Or maybe you’ve hesitated to set a boundary because you didn’t want to seem selfish? It’s a common struggle. Wellness often involves making choices that feel like they go against what we’ve been taught—especially when it comes to putting others first.
Wellness isn't just about eating right or working out; it's also about giving yourself permission to rest, recharge, and say no when you need to. It’s about setting boundaries, like turning off your phone after a certain hour or carving out time for fitness training, even when it feels like there’s a million other things demanding your attention.
But here's the tricky part: society often tells us that saying no or putting ourselves first is selfish. We're conditioned to believe that being "good" means constantly giving—helping others, showing up for every request, and never turning anyone down. Especially at our jobs or in our family environments. This can create a moral tug-of-war inside us, making it hard to prioritize our own well-being.
Cultural Expectations
In many cultures, particularly those with strong family or community ties like in Asian, Latin American, or Middle Eastern cultures, there’s often a deep-rooted expectation that you should always prioritize others. In these settings, being a good spouse, parent, or community member is synonymous with constant self-sacrifice. People may feel compelled to be available for their family or friends at all times, even at the expense of their health.
In Western work cultures, especially in corporate environments, long hours and overcommitting are sometimes seen as badges of honor. Employees might be expected to stay late or be available on weekends, creating an atmosphere where overextending oneself is not only normalized but rewarded. In both cases, self-care can seem indulgent, even selfish, and setting boundaries may feel like going against the grain.
But here's the reality: constantly giving without taking care of yourself is not sustainable. You can only be there for others if you're in a good place yourself. Wellness and selflessness are not opposites. In fact, they work together. By caring for your own physical and mental health, you’ll be in a stronger position to support the people who depend on you.
Elevate Your Perspective
So, how do we get past this idea that prioritizing our wellness is selfish? It starts with a shift in mindset.
First, we have to stop thinking of wellness as some kind of luxury or reward we only deserve after we've taken care of everyone and everything else. Wellness is a responsibility. Think of it like keeping your car in good shape—you wouldn’t ignore oil changes or routine maintenance because eventually, the car would break down. The same goes for you! Taking care of your mind and body isn’t something extra, it’s necessary to keep you going strong.
Here are a few ways you can integrate wellness into your life without feeling guilty:
Time Management: Take a good look at how you’re spending your time. Are there pockets in your day where you can squeeze in some self-care? Maybe it's 10 minutes of stretching in the morning or a quiet walk at lunch. Even small chunks of time can make a big difference in how you feel.
Set Boundaries: This can be tough, especially if you’re used to always saying yes. But it’s okay to turn down plans or requests when you need a break. Practice saying things like, “I can’t today, but how about later this week?” Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care; it just means you’re managing your energy.
Prioritize Self-Care: Treat self-care like an appointment. If you block out time for it, you’re more likely to stick to it. Whether it’s a workout, or just time to unwind, schedule it into your day so it becomes a non-negotiable part of your routine.
Start Small: You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Start with small steps, like drinking more water or going to bed 30 minutes earlier. The key is consistency. Over time, these small changes will add up, and you’ll notice a big difference in how you feel.
The goal here is to find balance. Wellness isn’t about doing everything perfectly, it’s about making sure you’re taking care of yourself in the ways that matter most, so you can keep showing up as your best self.
